She couldn’t figure it out…
What’s wrong this year….it’s almost quater way and she still wasn’t getting it right.
Pride blinded her….successes of her past made her feel great, untouchable, often unteachable
Most days she’d wake up excited, ready; Wanting to solves the days trivial tasks with a smile on her face for she truly believed she could do it.
But sadly, it was on those days when she felt she could conqure the world,that her spirit would be uncaringly crushed by her masters, laughed at by her peers and finally given up on by herself.
‘How can you be afraid to be happy?’
‘Because whenever you get too happy something bad always happens’
-Charlie Brown (Peanuts)
It felt like the first time all over again and oh how she hated her first encouter, the pressure, the insults…one had to numb themselves; numb their mind, numb their heart and all the while being expected to fly.
‘… conceal don’t feel…. the year will be over soon.. don’t let them know you dont like them or you’ll fail’
Right now, she needed to cry. She needed to scream. She needed to hug someone, she needed to be hugged, She needed a listening ear where she could whine about her failiures, tell them how nerve ending Architecture could be but….
Pride blinded her.
There she felt safe, strong and secure. She knew with her pride she can build herself back up even after the worst of days.
Pride was her addiction, her comfort,her undoing…
Thankfully, she’d always look forward to a better tomorrow, even though its spontaneity was very unsettling, for she believed that one day she’d find spectacles that would correct her blindness
Apologies for not posting often but regularly check out ‘Momentarily…‘ for quotes and random daily thoughts